Because Infinity Stones
by Artemis Day
Summary: Pepperony Week 2019.
1. 5 1 Things

**5 times Tony didn't realize he was in love with Pepper, and 1 time he did.**

When Tony made a random low-level administrative assistant his new PA, it was mostly for the novelty.

Here was a woman confident enough to break into his office and tell him to his face that he was wrong. Observant enough to catch a mistake not even he, the guy who built a working robot before his balls dropped, had spotted.

Plus, she was a former model. In magazines and everything. Whoever said models were dumb could go eat their ignorant words with some ketchup on top.

Virginia Potts, newly baptized as Pepper, spent her first day on the job familiarizing herself with her new responsibilities, organizing the photos on her desk, and signing a truly immense amount of paperwork. Seriously, Tony had to talk to Obidiah about switching to digital. What kind of futurist was he killing all those defenseless trees?

Given his track record with PAs, he expected Ms. Potts to last a month, maybe two. Not a crack against her, but he was a handful and he knew it. When she inevitably quit, he'd have a generous severance package and a glowing reference ready for her. Now it was just a matter of how long before his partying, all-night science binges, and frequent overnight guests of the female variety wore her down.

Three months later, she was in his office while he slept off a hangover, notes in hand as she briefed him on the upcoming board meeting.

"Mr. Daniels in HR needs to talk to you about calculating this year's Christmas bonuses. Mrs. Prowitt in accounting just had a baby and you need to send out your personal congratulations-"

"Potts…"

"You still have paperwork to sign for the merger with Rushcorp-"

"Potts, please…"

"And R&D has taken issue with the blueprints you gave them for the new missile prototype. They're saying the flight system isn't feasible with our current technology. You might want to have a word with them."

"Potts! I'm dying!"

He struggled to lift his head and look into her eyes with all the pain in his formerly inebriated soul. As usual, she was unsympathetic.

"This is why I told you not to go out partying on a Tuesday night," she said.

"As if you never partied on a Tuesday."

"No, Mr. Stark, I didn't. I waited for the weekend." She started for the door. "I'll get you some water and ginger ale. You'll be ready to go by noon."

"I could also not go."

"That's true, but you will" Her phone rang and she ignored Tony's moaning to answer it. "Hello? Oh, yes Mr. Daniels, I was just about to call you… yes, he will be ready in time for the meeting. I just confirmed it with him."

She left and Tony whimpered in agony. This must be what abandoned kittens on the side of the road felt like.

"I thought I hired an assistant," he mumbled. "Instead I got a new mom."

He almost immediately cringed at the idea. Potts was not at all like his mother. She wasn't even a really strict big sister.

No, she was something else. Something he couldn't pinpoint.

Boy, did he hate not knowing the answer.

* * *

"Potts, we should go out sometime."

Surprisingly, he wasn't drunk. In fact, he'd been sober for the last six days while they negotiated a contract with a new satellite company. That was a personal best for him and he deserved some recognition, dammit.

"We are out," she said, and indeed they were in the lounge at the Plaza hotel waiting for their drinks to arrive.

"I mean on a date," Tony said. "You know, with dinner and dancing and no business deals. Just the two of us."

Pepper sighed like this wasn't the first time he'd asked. And, to be fair, it wasn't. "Mr. Stark, you know why we can't date."

"Do I? Remind me real quick."

She rolled her eyes. "First of all, it's against company policy. Even if I didn't work directly under you, we're still in the same department and fraternization among employees never works out well. Second, dating your PA would reflect badly on us with the press. Finally, maintaining a professional environment in the workplace is crucial to overall productivity and good financial health."

Tony whistled. "Lot of big words there. You've done your homework, Potts."

"I have to," she said, but couldn't hide a slight smile. "If I don't, who will?"

"Good point." Tony leaned back with his hands under his hand. "It's funny, though. I didn't hear anything in there about you not wanting to date me."

Pepper opened her mouth, but none of her pre-established responses to his flirting came forth. Instead, she blushed heavily and turned away to tap on her phone.

Tony chuckled to himself. She was kind of cute when she was flustered.

Not that she wasn't always cute, but…

* * *

Even though Pepper wouldn't date him (and all jokes aside he did begrudgingly see her point), that didn't mean she wouldn't date at all.

Five years had passed since the pepper spray incident. There had been a few guys in that time, or so he assumed. He was too busy keeping track of his own one night stands to pay attention to Pepper's.

One day, out of the blue, she asked to leave work two hours early. The last time she did that was three years ago.

"Hitting the town, Potts?" He meant it as a joke, but also not. Tony wasn't a genius for nothing and he'd noticed the changes in her make-up and the unfamiliar perfume lingering in the air.

Pepper cleared her throat. "As a matter of fact, yes. I'm going on a date tonight and I need to get my hair done."

He wanted to say her hair was perfect the way it was because it _was_ perfect and whoever this guy was probably didn't even notice. He also wanted to say he needed her to stay late because they had some extra paperwork to go through. Surely he had something buried in one of his desk drawers for her to look at.

"Oh, that's nice," he said, leaning back in his big plush chair. "Didn't know you were seeing someone."

"We're casual at the moment."

"Just looking for a midnight ride, huh?"

Pepper glared at him, but it wasn't her offended face. More like her 'I think you're funny but I'm not going to say it because that will just fuel your ego so I'm going to pretend to be offended' face. He'd become an expert in differentiating between the two.

"I'll be sure to have all my tasks done before I leave," she said.

"As if you need to tell me," Tony snorted. He read some papers while Pepper went to her office. Fifteen minutes later, he was still on the same paragraph and needed to stretch his legs. "So… what's his name?"

Pepper glanced at him, then went back to typing. "Craig."

Craig and Pepper… Crepper?

God no...

"What's he do?" Tony fought to keep his posture loose. "Let me guess. He's a genius billionaire in charge of his own company-"

"He's an investment banker."

"Fun. Where are you going?"

"To dinner and maybe a movie."

"You know what you're going to see?"

"We'll decide when we get there." The intercom beeped and Pepper pressed the button to silence it. "Looks like your two-thirty is here."

Tony barely paid attention during his appointment with… whoever this guy was. Something something missile guidance revamping something. His eyes always trailed back to Pepper behind a wall of glass. When she left for the night, he hung around for half an hour before going home. It was just too quiet without her.

A few months later, Pepper asked for another early day.

"Sure thing," Tony said, chewing on his bottom lip. "Got a hot date with Craig?"

"No, just dinner with my parents. It's my mom's birthday tomorrow," she explained. "Actually, Craig and I decided to just be friends. I think he's seeing someone else now."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that."

Tony tried his best not to grin as he said it, but he was grinning for the whole rest of the day.

* * *

After Tony completed renovations of his Malibu home, he started doing more work from home. This meant Pepper had to come over more often than not. Aside from a requisite 'want to see the master bedroom' quip, Tony had allowed her space in his massive home. She had an office and a guest room complete with a private balcony for when she wanted to work outside.

Being as she was, most of their private time centered around business. Making deals, planning meetings, arranging his schedule, and lots of other fun and exciting activities. On weekdays, she arrived promptly in the morning and left before sundown. Unless it was quarterly report time or they were on the verge of closing a huge deal, she never deviated from this schedule.

So it was strange when he left the basement one night at midnight after five hours working on his new convertible to find Pepper asleep on the couch.

Her tablet and some papers were on the floor where she'd dropped them. One arm was tucked under her head, no pillows in sight. She'd taken her shoes off, and while Tony was no foot fetishist, her new pedicure was lovely.

She sighed and shifted in her sleep as Tony gently squeezed a throw pillow under her head and draped a blanket over her. He would've carried her to the guest room, but Pepper was typically a light sleeper and putting her in an awkward position might mean she wouldn't come over as much.

He gathered her things and stacked them neatly on the coffee table. Hopefully, those pages were in the correct order, but if they weren't, she'd have them right in under a second.

Tony stepped back to watch her chest rise and fall. Her face was so peaceful. Not like the cool serenity she used to calmly destroy brown-nosing idiots at meetings. It was like he was finally seeing Pepper in her natural state of being.

He liked it.

But of course, he liked it. He liked her.

And maybe he shouldn't be staring at her while she slept. That was kind of creepy.

* * *

He was never going to see Pepper again.

_'No,'_ he told himself,_ 'don't do that. Stay positive. Stay positive.'_

The problem with staying positive is that it's hard to do when you're running through the desert with no food or water and you've just escaped captivity and watched the man you spent three months forming an emotional bond with die before your eyes.

Suffice to say, this was not Tony's day.

He'd only briefly considered what would happen if the escape was successful. Best case scenario, he got himself and Yinsen out and they found a village less than a mile away with friendly locals who had food and a satellite phone handy. With both of those things now off the table, Tony stumbled through the sand, careful not to run too fast and waste energy. If he had to guess, the temperature was roughly a thousand degrees Fahrenheit. He'd probably sweated another five pounds off.

The one good thing about being lost in the desert was it gave him time to think. About all his mistakes and all his missteps. All the things he never realized he should've done.

He should've told Rhodey how much their friendship meant to him. Tony had been a pain in his ass since college and yet Rhodes never abandoned him.

He should've told his father he loved him. Twenty years he spent ignoring and pushing away that one simple truth, and now he couldn't avoid it. Howard Stark was an asshole, but so was Tony Stark. Like father, like son as they say.

He should've told Pepper… God, the things he should've told Pepper. Listing them would kill hours of time while the elements slowly killed him. He should've told her how important she was, not just to Stark Industries, but to him. How much he appreciated everything she did for him. How happy he was to see her every morning. How thankful he was that she didn't quit after two months and take that severance package. How much better she deserved than to be in his shadow. How much he truly cared about her from the bottom of his heart.

How much he…

God, this heat was unbearable. Couldn't even think straight.

When he saw her again after hours in an air-conditioned plane, being fed jello packets and wanting nothing more than a hunk of real meat, none of what he should've said came to mind.

"Your eyes are red. A few tears for your long lost boss?"

It would have to do.

* * *

It should've been another quiet post-return evening in.

Tony didn't feel like flying that night, otherwise, he'd be out on the town already. The plan was to watch cheesy sci-fi movies and laugh at all the mistakes until he fell asleep. Now he was trapped in his own body, eyes unable to close, mouth unable to open. He stared up at a monster wearing a familiar face as he literally ripped his heart out.

"Oh Tony, this is your ninth symphony," Obidiah said, among other bullshit villain monologue crap Tony couldn't hear over his own internal screaming. "This is your legacy. A new generation of weapons with this at its heart."

_'Fuck you,'_ Tony wanted so badly to say. _'Fuck you, you lying son of a bitch. Fuck you fuck you fuck you-'_

"Too bad you had to involve Pepper in this. I would've preferred that she'd live."

Someone once said there were five or six profound moments in everyone's life. Tony didn't know who that someone was or if he didn't just make that whole thing up in his head. Whatever the case, this was one of those moments.

Never before had he wanted so badly to kill someone. Not just kill them, but make them suffer the worst sort of torment. He wanted to rip Stane apart with his bare hands, destroy him from the inside out. Make him regret even thinking about threatening Pepper.

He focused all his strength on his legs, making his toes wiggle. The ringing in his ears was fading, but not fast enough.

_'You can do this,'_ said the voice of Pepper in his ears. _'You can do this.'_

His fingers twitched and he slowly clenched a fist.

He wouldn't lose one more person he loved.


	2. Sharing A Bed

**A/N: This one is set pre-IM3.**

* * *

While Pepper brushed her teeth, Tony turned down the bedspread and sheets. He'd actually made his bed this morning right after getting up, and if his lovely lady didn't appreciate it, well, he'd just have to pout and give her puppy dog eyes until she did.

Tony was mad skilled at puppy dog eyes.

"Are you doing your hair in there?" Tony watched her shadow on the bathroom door. "I never knew brushing could take so long."

"I'm flossing," she said.

"Is flossing even a real thing? What if it's a conspiracy by dentists to make more money?"

"You mean like how Ironman is a secret government project funded by the Illuminati and you're just a figurehead to throw off the media?"

Tony snorted. "Please. The Illuminati wishes they were cool enough for me."

"They sure do."

She turned off the faucet and finished her nightly routine before stepping into the bedroom. Her bare feet plodded across the carpet, her hair in messy waves over her face. The white silk teddies and lacy underwear she typically wore on her nights over were stored in the closet for another day. Her long flannel pants and oversized blue t-shirt made her look just as beautiful. Tony couldn't keep his eyes off her.

"Our first night together," he said as she crawled into bed with him. "This is a momentous occasion, you know."

"Tony, I've stayed over a hundred times before," Pepper said, her face half-buried in his neck.

"Yeah, but you were visiting those times. We live together now. It's different." Tony rubbed his hands together. "We have to celebrate. How does a Back to the Future marathon sound?"

Pepper hummed. "Maybe. Haven't seen the third one in a while."

"We can watch something else, too," Tony said, grabbing the remote. "JARVIS, what's on tonight?"

"There's a new episode of Iron Chef America airing in six minutes, sir."

"Hm, not bad," Tony said, "but we already ate. I don't want to get hungry again. What else?"

"The BBC is running the first season of Sherlock."

"Pft- yeah right. I could play a better Sherlock Holmes than that guy. What else?"

"A new unofficial documentary on the creation of Ironman will be on E! at eleven."

Tony gasped and turned to Pepper.

"No," she said.

"But-"

"No."

"Come on, they're fun," he whined. "Don't you want to see how much they got wrong this time?"

"I'll wait until the lawyer calls." Pepper plucked the remote out of Tony's hand and dropped it on the nightstand. "I'm not in the mood for TV. Let's do something else."

The way she clung to his arm and pressed her legs against him had not been lost on Tony. His eyebrows vanished into his hairline as he walked two fingers up her arm. "Are you thinking we should slowly and sensually look into each other's eyes all night until we fall asleep?"

She grinned. "We can talk, too."

"Sounds great." Tony kissed her forehead. "Then in the morning, we'll have sex."

Her laughter filled the air and Tony savored the sound. For the next few hours as the moon made its journey through the sky, they talked about anything and everything. From Pepper's new projects to Tony's suit upgrades. From the annoying woman at the gym who constantly bragged about her kids to what gift they should do for Happy's birthday next month.

Tony fell asleep that night with no trouble, and for the first time in months, he didn't dream about New York. He didn't wake up drenched in sweat at three in the morning, gasping for air like his lungs forgot how to inflate. For the moment, life was good.


	3. NSFW

**A/N: As the prompt implies, this one is NSFW, so be warned. :D**

* * *

As Virginia Potts, vivacious court lady and daughter the most powerful man in their sleepy port two, stared up at the silhouette of her captor, she knew there was only one way this could end.

He had come for her in the dead of night, stealing her from her bed and spiriting her away to his ship. It all happened so fast, she never stood a chance. Now she was alone and trapped. Her only exit was the door he was blocking. Virginia huddled in the corner, her skirts riding up to her knees. As dark as it was, she knew exactly where his eyes were. She felt them on every inch of her shivering body. Dark and foreboding, full of unbridled lust.

"So, Lady Potts," he said, "I finally have you."

He stepped into the light, revealing his face for the first time. Virginia's heart quickened. It was just as she'd suspected. Standing before her was none other than Captain Anthony Stark, the most fearsome pirate to ever sail the seven seas. He was much shorter in person, but no less handsome than the stories said.

"What do you want from me?" she breathed.

He smiled down at her, his hat dipping low over his eyes. "Oh, I think you know exactly what I want… okay, can we stop for a second?"

Pepper blinked. That wasn't the safe word, but Tony's posture instantly changed from imposing dominant manbeast to confounded boyfriend scratching at the lining of his ratty poet's shirt. "What is it this time?"

"I just don't understand my motivation here," he said, swinging his fake sword around. "I kidnapped you and dragged you to my ship, and now I'm going to have my way with you, and…"

"And…" Pepper nodded him along.

"That's just it," Tony threw up his hands. "My character is completely lacking in depth. I don't feel like I know this guy, and if I don't know him, how can I play him?"

"Tony, you're overthinking it."

"I'm just saying, the story's important." He sat on the bed, specially made to resemble a hammock laced with seashells. "You want to sleep with a pirate and I want this to be an authentic, immersive experience for you."

"If can't be any sort of experience if you don't play your part," she argued.

"Maybe we should come up with a backstory for this guy. Like what if his father beat him and then his mother sold him to the circus for bread money. That sounds suitably tragic, right?"

"Tony," Pepper put her hands on his shoulders, avoiding the plastic parrot sewed to his shirt, "I told you this is my fantasy. You agreed to play along, and playing along does not mean questioning everything I ask you to do, understand?"

"Yes, ma'am," Tony grinned like a child who knew he was being a little shit.

"Good, now please get back into character and fuck me."

"Okay, that I won't question at all." Tony stood up while Pepper resumed her position as the demure and helpless Virginia. "Ahem. Argh, matey. Here be this lovely wench I be taking to me bed this night. Else ye walk the plank ahoy."

Pepper fixed him with a killing glare, and he immediately backed off, though not without a chuckle.

"Sorry, sorry, just messing with you. Being serious now." He waved a hand over his face, returning to a cold, menacing stare. "Now then, why don't we see what's under this lovely dress of yours?"

He put a little growl in his voice. It shouldn't have been as hot as it was, but Pepper felt that heat right between her legs. Tony backed her into the corner, caging her in with his body. He dotted kisses from her neck to the tops of her breasts. His hands ran along her skirts, lifting the dress to reveal bare, shapely legs and a scrap of blue fabric masquerading as a thong.

"Well, well, well," said Tony, "it seems my lady isn't so proper after all."

"Maybe," she gasped.

Thank God they hadn't gone for period-accurate underwear.

Tony got down on his knees, the parrot doll flopping back and forth. He took off his tricorn hat and burrowed under her dress. His fingers brushed her throbbing clit before his mouth took their place. Pepper moaned and threw her head back. She took his shoulders in an iron grip, fingers digging into taut muscles.

His tongue ran circles around the sensitive nub as he massaged her thighs. Over the years they'd been dating he had studied her body with all the care and focus he put into his suits. He knew every inch of her, what to touch, where to bite, and what to tickle. Pepper would've liked to last longer, and in most cases (as she assured herself constantly) she would've. It was just his hands, and his tongue, and his ridiculous outfit pulled straight out of every fantasy she ever had as a Pirates of Penzance loving preteen. Pepper yelped as she came, her knees shaking as orgasmic waves overtook her.

Tony didn't stop until the final spark of pleasure had left her. His mouth shined as he grinned at her.

"Would any of your fine society gentlemen have done that for you?" he asked. Pepper panted, unable to speak yet. She shook her head wildly as he drew himself up and pulled her flush against him. "I can't hear you."

"No," she breathed, biting her lip as he undid the first of her many buttons. "No, they wouldn't."

"I didn't think so." He kissed her jaw and then her lips, tongue darting into her mouth, letting her taste herself. "Guess I'll have to make this a night to remember."

The alarm beeped as system override went into effect. The door slid open, and a frazzled Happy stepped inside holding a tablet.

"I'm sorry. I know you guys are busy, but-" He stopped. Tony in his pirate costume and Pepper in her half undone bodice stared back at him. "Uh… what's going on here?"

Tony gawked at him. "Seriously? We had Do Not Disturb mode on for a reason!"

"I know, but I thought you were working, not…" He motioned at Tony's outfit, then Pepper's, then the waterlogged plywood covering the walls. "Not… what is this, pirates?"

"Okay, son, it's like this," Tony said, "when a Mommy CEO and a Daddy Superhero love each other very much-"

"Forget it. I'm gone." Happy spun and walked out.

"I thought it was important," said Tony.

"Not that important."

As soon as he was gone, the locks clicked into place and the lights dimmed, restoring the office/playroom to an ambient, candlelight glow.

"Maybe we should've done this in our bedroom," Tony mused.

Pepper nodded. "Yeah."

"Maybe next time we should give Happy the day off."

"Yeah."

"...you still want to go?"

"_Yes._ Oh my God."

Tony smirked as Pepper wrapped her arms around his neck and ground into him. "Argh."

"Just kiss me."

He did.


	4. Morgan Stark

Morgan march inside with her elbow and knee pads on, her red and gold helmet hanging off her finger. "I can't do it."

It wouldn't have been strange except for two things.

One: this was Tony's garage. He tinkered in there five hours a day, weather and schedule permitted. A multitude of sharp pointy things just so happened to be aimed right at Morgan's head and if that wasn't heart-attack-inducing enough there was the matter of how she got through the locked door.

Two: She just said the word 'can't'.

"Uh… who am I talking to right now?" Tony dropped the soldering iron and spun his chair around. "Is this Madam Secretary? Our Alpha Female?"

"It's Morgan," she said crossly, arms folded.

"Are you sure? Because the Maguna I know doesn't say 'can't.' Ever."

"I am now," she said. "Because I can't. I can't ride a bike."

Tony covered his ears. "Nope, not listening. La la la la la-"

"Dad! I can't."

"Okay, that's four times now. Four times the forbidden word has been spoken." Tony lifted her into his lap as she fiddled sadly with her helmet straps. "We're not going for five, are we?"

"It's a contraction, not a word," she mumbled, chin all the way down so he couldn't see her face. "And it's too hard. I keep falling off."

Tony clicked his tongue. "You know that's what training wheels are for, right?"

"Training wheels are for babies."

Right. He'd completely forgotten. Buried in a box somewhere in this mess of a garage were all the baby books he collected in the first few months of Pepper's pregnancy. Tony read them all, digitized them, and took detailed notes on everything he should expect in the first ten to fifteen years of her life. There had to be something about belligerent 'I'm a big kid now and I can do anything' phases that he was forgetting. The best he could come up with was how to get your child used to sleeping in a bed instead of a crib.

Morgan was kind of past that.

"Okay, let's look at this from a new angle." Tony turned her to face him. "Why can't you ride a bike?"

She scowled, and he knew why. Hadn't she just said this? "Because it's hard."

"Got it. So we've honed in on the problem. Now, why is it hard?"

"Because I can't stay on."

"And why can't you stay on?"

"Because it's hard!"

"Okay." Tony grabbed her suddenly, kissing all over her face until she dissolved into giggles. "No more negativity. It's hurting my ears."

"Stop it!" Morgan cried as he tickled her sides.

"Can't do it. Not until you're smiling again."

"I am!" She did indeed have the world's biggest grin on her face. And it was the world's biggest grin for sure. Tony was an expert and not to be questioned. "You said 'can't'. I thought that was a bad word."

"Yeah, but there's this thing called context," Tony said. "When I say can't, it means 'Maguna can't be stopped by a silly little bike.'"

She moaned and looked away, her lips caught in an exaggerated pout. Even now, Tony's couldn't help but be proud of her. His sweet, sarcastic little girl.

"Come on," he said. "You sure you don't want the training wheels?"

"Hmph," she said.

"They could help."

"Hmph."

"Okay, have it your way." Tony let her slide down and they walked hand in hand outside, "but you know, that means you'll have to practice a lot more to get your balance."

Morgan mumbled angrily, and Tony felt bad for how adorable it was. He just wanted to grab her and hug her and kiss her some more.

"Why can't you put rockets on my bike?" she asked. "Then I won't have to be balanced."

"I'd love to, but you might be a little young for that."

"Please?" she implored, eyes wide and wobbly.

"Nope, sorry, Mom would never allow it." Around the corner, Pepper was feeding Gerald with one earbud in and the other dangling. She sang a song to herself and appeared completely lost to the world. "Hey Pep. Should I make Morgan-"

"No," Pepper said.

Tony gave Morgan a look. "What'd I tell you? She didn't hear any of that she still knows it's a bad idea."

"But Mommy-"

"No."

"There's nothing you can do. It's one of her Mom powers." Tony diverted their path from inside the house to the driveway. Morgan's hot rod red bike with streamers and no training wheels was waiting for them. "Now how about we give it one more shot before calling it a day?"

"I guess so," Morgan mumbled, but even as she played her reluctance up, he could see the fire in her eyes returning.

That bike would not defeat Morgan Stark.

Nothing would ever defeat Morgan Stark.

Especially not some dumb contraction like 'can't'.


	5. Missing Scene

Tony fixed his bowtie. It was badly lopsided. The left side dipped at roughly ten degrees south, and if he didn't have a perfect one hundred and eighty, all the pictures would be ruined and this day would be remembered as The Day Tony Couldn't Fix His Tie And Ruined What Should Have Been The Happiest Day Of His And Pepper's Life.

Instead of just The Happiest Day Of His And Pepper's Life.

All things considered, they had a good setup. Pepper never wanted a huge media circus for a wedding. Before Thanos reared his ugly head, the plan was to ship all the reporters off for a decoy ceremony in Bali (or somewhere else tropical and rich sounding) while they invited friends and Pepper's family to the summer home upstate. From there, they'd exchange vows, sign paperwork, dance, eat food, done. It was going to be awesome.

This… well, the upstate house was looking good.

Tony's mother told him a long time ago to always count his blessings. Always be grateful for what he had, because one day, he might not have it anymore. As a child, Tony trembled at the thought of losing his new robot or his collection of mint condition baseball cards. Seriously, those things cost him a whole allowance. Now he made sure to hug Pepper every morning as if he'd just stumbled off that spaceship again, cold and beaten.

Count your blessings.

"Tony, it's fine," said a voice like Rhodey's.

Tony glanced at the chair, which Rhodey sat in. From that, he could infer Rhodey had actually spoken. After three weeks of listening to himself and a woman he just met, it was good to make sure.

"What's fine? Everything's fine." Tony straightened his spine and puffed out his chest. At the bottom of his vision, the bowtie was leaning slightly right, so maybe-

"Tony, you're just messing it up." Rhodey got up like he was going to physically restrain Tony from fixing this grievous oversight. Like he didn't even care how important this day was!

"I've got it, I'm fine." Tony shooed him off. "You think I'm freaking out just because I'm about to marry Pepper after twenty plus years of being madly in love with her?"

"Yes, that's what we think," said Nebula. Angie, Pepper's best friend from work, nodded in agreement.

Tony glared at his three witnesses, then at Happy, daring him to say a word. When no one did, he got to work inspecting his buttons. If they weren't all in the right holes, his whole outfit would be out of whack. And then there were his shoes. The left one was scuffed this morning and he'd only had two hours to buff it out.

Actually, did his socks match? In this light, they didn't look identical.

"Hey!" Rhodey waved in his face. "You in there?"

Tony blinked. "Where else would I be? I'm fine."

"Yeah, you've been saying that all day, and you've already changed suits twice."

"Is it wrong for a man to want to make a good impression on his wedding day?"

"Tony, look at me," Rhodey put his hands on Tony's shoulders, eyes boring into him. "You look great. Everyone thinks you look great. Pepper will think you look great, okay?"

He was using that 'dad' voice of his. Tony remembered it well from their college days. He didn't have nearly as many crazy stories as he could've had thanks to Rhodey playing 'responsible adult' and dragging him away by his ear when things got out of hand. Tony used to give Rhodey crap for it every chance he got. Never seriously, just a reminder to his best friend that it was okay to lighten up sometimes. He didn't say a word now, and he never would again.

(Count your blessings.)

"I get it," he said, stepping back to the altar. "I'm fi- I'm okay. I'm good. Everything's good."

"Yes, it is," Rhodey nodded.

"Hey everyone, it's showtime," said Friday from the speakers set up in all the trees and in Tony's watch. "Get into position."

"Thank you Friday," Tony said, almost but not quite reaching for his bowtie again. "Play music."

"Playing music."

Rhodey sat back down with Nebula and Angie. He looked like a million bucks in his navy blue suit, while Nebula had donned what appeared to be battle armor for the occasion. When asked, she said it was traditional among her people. That was the first pre-Thanos tidbit of her life she'd cared to offer. Tony was no expert (for once), but he'd call that progress.

Angie did a decent job not staring at the actual alien breathing her air, as did Rhodey. Tony was proud of them, and even prouder when he smiled at Nebula, and she almost smiled back.

Pepper appeared at the end of the aisle. It was far longer than their number of guests entailed, but there was something to be said for doing things by the book. Tony hadn't seen Pepper since yesterday, and her dress had been hidden in the closet for months. It was a simple white gown with a modest neckline, form-hugging bodice, and, knowing her, no back. Her veil had been her mother's, her jewelry her grandmother's. Her hair was piled atop her head with decorative flowers and a few loose strands at both ears.

To say she was beautiful was an insult. On a scale of one to ten, numbers did not go that high.

She smiled at him as she reached the altar like she could read his mind. Or just his face. Tony hoped to find his jaw before Happy got started, but it wasn't looking good.

"Okay," Happy said as the bridal march cut out, "let's get right to it. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today-"

"Nice dress," Tony said through his teeth. "Who paid?"

"Me," Pepper whispered, "and you."

Tony gave the tiniest nod. "I have great taste."

"Yes, I do."

Five minutes later, they were married. Mr. and Mrs. Tony and Pepper Stark. Or Potts-Stark. Or maybe just Potts. They still had to work that out.

It was nothing like the wedding Tony had envisioned. There were no doves or horse-drawn carriages. The cake was two layers and they'd decided on a pizza party instead of catering. The rings were bare. In all the devastation, they never had time to think of good inscriptions. Their dear friend and employee, who had printed out his ministry certificate less than twelve hours ago, declared them man and wife.

So in a way, it was kind of better.

He kissed his bride to almost thunderous applause as Friday cued up the recessional. They walked arm in arm down the aisle toward the smell of hot cheese and an uncertain future. What came next, Tony didn't know. Nobody knew. The emptiness permeated even now, but Tony was learning to deal. The weight of the gold band on his ring finger helped.

Tony Stark was not a praying man, but he'd always count his blessings.


	6. Endgame Fix-It

**A/N: This story is loosely based on the NGE fanfic, The Second Try by Jimmy Wolk.**

* * *

It all came down to this.

Which was such a damn cliche, he wanted to smack himself for even thinking it. The truth was the truth, though, and Tony Stark was nothing if not honest.

Ever since New York, the chitauri, Ultron, those damn Accords, everything had led him to this moment. Right here, with infinite power at his disposal and one purple son of a bitch to kill.

"I am inevitable," Thanos said. Yeah, sure. Inevitably _ugly_.

Oh, he was good.

The worst part was knowing Pepper was watching. Pepper and Rhodey and Peter. At least Morgan would never have to see this, even if she would grow up in a world without him.

It had to be this way. Just one chance to save the universe. One out of fourteen million.

_'It's hard being number one,'_ he thought, almost with a laugh.

"And I… am…" Talking hurt, moving hurt, everything hurt, but he had to say it. "Ironman."

The world stood still. Another cliche. The time between the snap and the impact felt like years. He saw it all, Morgan's birth, Pepper's face at their wedding, Rhodey carrying him, half-starved, to bed, Peter's body dissolving in his arms, space, the donut ship, so many battles, so many wars, so much chaos and loss, so much pain.

_'I wish it never happened,'_ he thought, filling his thoughts with only Morgan, her sweet little face. He'd never see her again. _'I wish I could've watched you grow up.'_

Light and energy exploded, tearing his body to pieces, and then it was over.

Tony Stark closed his eyes.

* * *

"Tony?"

He opened his eyes. He was on a jet carrier, banking left as they picked up altitude. Rhodey was next to him. At least, it looked like Rhodey. Tony had to blink a few times to be sure. This Rhodey was at least a decade younger than the one he knew. His leg braces were gone. Instead, he wore a standard military uniform.

"Hey, wake up," he said. "We're almost there."

Tony blinked. He tried to move his right arm but it was caught in a sling. "Almost… where?"

Rhodey furrowed his brow, studying Tony like a doctor. He should've known how much Tony hated that. "Home. Should only be another ten minutes."

Tony's pocket beeped. He jumped like he'd been hit with a cattle prod. Steadying himself, he reached into his pants and pulled out the clunky flip phone he used ten years ago.

It was Obadiah.

Obadiah Stane was calling him.

At the corner of the screen was the date.

"Oh my God." The phone clattered to the floor, landing on just the right button to reject the call. Tony shot to his feet, but Rhodey was faster.

"Hey, what are you doing?"

"This isn't right." Tony's had snapped in every direction, seeking something, anything. He didn't even know what. There was no fire anywhere. No debris. No Thanos. "This… this can't be happening…"

"Tony, calm down." Rhodey forced him back in his seat, keeping a firm hold on his shoulders. "Look at me. You're out, okay? You're safe. We're not going back to Afghanistan ever again."

"Afghan…" Tony inhaled until his lungs ached. His heart pounded so hard, his ears hurt. The phone rang again. It was a number he didn't know, but the date was still the same.

May 3rd, 2008.

The plane landed in an airport. He couldn't remember which. The ramp descended and Rhodey supported him on the way back to solid ground. Pepper was waiting for him. Her hair up, her outfit clean, her eyes red and shiny. She looked exactly like she had the day he came home from captivity.

_'Today_ is_ the day you came home from captivity,'_ he told himself, though he could hardly believe it.

This had to be a dying dream, one last trick from the stones to lull him off to eternal sleep. Any second now, his vision would go dark. He'd be back in the burning rubble of what should've been his second home, surrounded by the people he still, after everything, considered his friends. He'd be right back to dying for the good of the universe and hoping only to hear a certain voice one more time.

A voice which belonged to the woman standing before him, solid and real. Everything around him was real. From the tarmac to Rhodey's hand to Pepper's wet smile.

"Hey Pep," he choked, remembering his old line but unable to speak it. "I… hey…"

"Hey," she said. "Glad you're back. I hate job-hunting."

A sob tore from his throat as his knees finally gave. His body was far too light, and Pepper's knees barely buckled as he fell against her. Tony would apologize later, or maybe never. He wasn't as sorry as he should've been.

He just needed to feel her.

"This is real," he muttered, his whole body trembling. "This is real. How is this real? I didn't-"

"Maybe we should get him to the hospital." Rhodey tried to speak softly, but Tony heard every word.

"No! No hospitals." He found the strength to let Pepper go. "Please… I just want…"

_'I want an American cheeseburger... and the other-'_

_'That's enough of that.'_

_'It's not what you think. I want you to call for a press conference.'_

The words were in his head like a movie script. He knew how to say them, what inflictions to use. He had everything but the gumption to speak. His stomach revolted at the thought of a rice cracker, let alone greasy fast food. His bold new direction had to happen one way or another, but did he have to announce it today?

Tony looked at Pepper, all subtle signs of aging gone from her face. Her crinkle-less eyes were as wide as they'd been before Extremis. They were full of concern for him and he could barely take it.

"I just want to go home."

* * *

The Malibu house was smaller than he remembered. The roof didn't slope like he thought it did and he spent twenty minutes searching for the east wing before remembering it wouldn't be built for another two years.

Though Pepper and Rhodey both argued Tony had stood firm. He didn't need a doctor. At least, not that kind. Tony checked every database in the country for Stephen Strange and found his man in a Manhattan hospital. He was an up and coming star in the surgery world. His operations were pure artistry. People came from miles away just to have a meeting with him. He'd been interviewed on the five o'clock news last month, and it was clear he knew exactly how brilliant and important he was.

But he wasn't magic. Not yet.

Now Tony had nothing to do but stare at the upside-down door to his basement lab. The blood was rushing to his head and he should probably sit up, but every time he thought about it, all the energy he'd built up evaporated. In the corner of his eye was the piano. His mother used to play it for him, now Obie did.

He was going to have to get that evidence against Obadiah. Put him in jail for a few thousand years and maybe make it a clean process. Lying, murderous prick that he was, Tony didn't really want to kill him again.

He'd have to deal with Ivan Vanko, though. And Aldrich Killian. And HYDRA. Had to keep the Maximoffs away from those assholes. Had to find Bruce before Ross did. Had to get Steve out of the ice. Had to get Barnes out of the ice. Had to keep an eye on Peter. He'd be seven years old now, give or take.

He'd have to be Pepper's boss again. Nothing but a boss...

Tony pressed the base of his hands into his eyes, but the dull throbbing wouldn't stop. "Friday, dim the lights."

"Excuse me, sir?"

Tony sat up, searching for an intruder before the voice registered. "Uh, right. JARVIS, I… I'm sorry, I don't know what I'm saying."

"As you didn't the other three times, I'm sure."

"Watch it," Tony pointed at the control panel. "I gave you sarcasm, I can take it away."

"Of course, sir. My apologies."

Tony's smile broke. How he'd managed it at all was a mystery he'd never solve. "No, don't apologize, buddy. I uh… I wanted to tell you how much I… I mean, you do so much. You're one hell of an AI."

"I should be, sir. You designed me."

"No, not that. I mean, yes, I did, but… I just appreciate everything you've done for me, JARVIS. I wanted you to know that. I… I _appreciate_ you and I…"

_'I love you 3000.'_

He'd been hearing that voice since he woke up. Seeing her face in his mind's eye. When he entered the house, he half expected her to rush out of her room and run into his arms. He would've held her and rocked her until the end of the world.

But he didn't, because Morgan Stark didn't have a room in the Malibu house.

Morgan Stark didn't exist.

He avoided that realization for so long as it chipped away at him. Her absence was a hole in his heart that would never be filled. Not until she was conceived again. If she was conceived again. The odds of getting the exact timing twice, with a ten-year window in between, were astronomical. No calculator in the world could figure that number out.

And this was real.

Tony curled into a ball and cried. He hadn't really cried in so long. The last time, Pepper held him all night and talked him through it. This time, he was alone. Pepper didn't know him as her husband and the father of her child. He was a philandering asshole who just so happened to sign her paychecks. She wouldn't be there in the morning for him to kiss awake. She wouldn't go to bed with him at night and tell him she loved him. They wouldn't eat breakfast in the morning with their little girl and talk about the day ahead.

To think, his biggest concern used to be finding the right size muffler for whatever car he was restoring.

What a piece of shit he'd been.

"Why would you do this to me?" He stared at the ceiling. Most of the stones were in space right now, so it would have to do. "You couldn't just blow Thanos and his boy band to kingdom come and kill me? That's all I asked for."

Except it wasn't.

_'I wish it never happened.'_ He said that to himself while the power of the universe coursed through his veins. Hearing his thoughts and concluding exactly what he meant by 'it' wouldn't be difficult for an ancient force that could destroy entire universes in the blink of an eye.

"That's great," Tony mumbled, laughing even as fresh tears welled up. "Really great, guys. Remember how I also wished I could watch her grow up? Can't do that if she's never born, now can I? Did you think of that?"

"Sir, I don't mean to interrupt your… internal discussion." Tony snorted. JARVIS continued. "I've just received a message from the caretaker of your summer home in Georgia. There is a slight situation."

Tony sighed, staring at nothing. "What kind of situation?"

"Well sir, he was doing a routine inspection of the property and he found a young girl sleeping in one of the guest rooms. She's claiming it's her room and that she's your daughter."

The bottom dropped out of the world. All sounds and sights fell away. If there was ever a moment for Tony to wake up in a battlefield ready to die, it was now.

"What does she look like?" Tony waved but no holoscreens appeared. Because he hadn't put them in yet. "Did he send photos?"

"I only have the report, sir. She calls herself Morgan and reportedly will not stop asking for you. The caretaker wanted to inform you of the matter before contacting child services."

"NO!" Tony grabbed his coat. "Tell him not to call anyone, just keep her there and wait for me. And get the jet ready for takeoff. We're leaving in ten minutes."

"Sir, I-"

_"Just do it, JARVIS!" _

Tony broke every speed limit imaginable and possibly the laws of physics to get to the airport in under five minutes. The radio was off. His phone was under a pillow somewhere at home. He'd stopped asking questions. 'Because Infinity Stones' would just have to do.

As he boarded the plane, he took one more look at the sky. "We're not done yet."

Somewhere deep inside himself, he almost felt that buzz of heat and power.

Time for round two.


	7. AU

**A/N: This will be a Nanny AU. I hope you enjoy, and I hope you all had an amazing Pepperony Week!**

* * *

Everyone hits rock bottom sometime.

For Pepper Potts, rock bottom was standing on the porch of an Upper East Side Manhattan townhouse ready to hock cheap makeup products to another bored housewife. Either that or get the door slammed in her face. Currently, she had a three to ten ratio.

"This is why you don't take a job in your cheating boyfriend's law office," she told herself again, just in case she didn't get the message the other six thousand times. "This is also why you don't date cheaters."

She knocked on the door and listened for footsteps. A tall man with blonde hair and blue eyes answered. He was dressed in what she'd come to find was a standard butler uniform. Great. One more door in the face.

"Hello," Pepper said, her well-rehearsed sales pitch ready to go. "My name is Virginia Potts, and-"

"Yes, we've been expecting you. Right this way, please." The butler stood aside, motioning for Pepper to come in.

She gripped the make-up case tighter, blinking stupidly for a moment as she processed the wide expanse of white marble interior and the well-dressed British man expectantly watching her.

"Uh… okay." There was a script for this, but she'd only skimmed it.

Entering the home was like walking into a cave. As Pepper took in the winding staircase and cathedral ceiling, she felt like going back outside just to check that the house wasn't bigger on the inside. Through one doorway was a dining room with a table built for twelve and an elegant chandelier. The living room was to the left. A boy sat on an onyx couch by the fireplace. It crackled merrily even though it was early August. The flow of central air didn't seem to be coming from a vent. At least, not one Pepper could see.

As she marveled at the sheer scope of this fairy tale dream home, the boy glanced up from his book. "Who's this?"

His tone wasn't rude, but it wasn't warm either. Pepper's first impression of the boy was aloofness, a common trait among teenagers if she remembered correctly.

"This is Virginia Potts, Harley," the butler said. "She's here to interview for the nanny position."

He glanced at Pepper to confirm. As she was now occupied with a decorative mirror on the wall which she was sure she'd seen in a movie somewhere, all she could do was nod her head. She barely heard the exchange anyway.

"I'll let Mr. Stark know you've arrived," he said, gliding down the hall as graceful as a gazelle. "If you'll wait one moment please."

There were no chairs anywhere except in the living room. The boy had returned to his book and didn't acknowledge Pepper when she stepped over the threshold onto the lushly carpeted floor. She didn't know if she should say something, or if she should even sit. If her grandma was here she'd coat this whole room in plastic covering and then never set foot in it again.

A second boy raced down the stairs, reaching the sixth step and jumping to the bottom. "Harley! I got it working. Now we can-" He stopped short of running into Pepper. In her heels, she was half a head taller than him, but he looked no younger than the boy on the couch. He also looked like he'd just broken about fifty rules. "Uh… sorry. I didn't know we had company."

"She's the new nanny Dad's going to hire to keep track of us," said the boy on the couch. "Because it's not like we're teenagers who can take care of ourselves. No, just have to get us a handler."

"Maybe he's still mad about the alpaca thing," the second boy mused.

The boy on the couch scoffed. "He was just pissed that we thought of it first. If anything it was the riverboat thing at the Summer gala last year."

As they ran through a list of unintelligible incidents which might have led them to this point, Pepper replayed the word 'nanny' in her head a few hundred times. Try as she might, it never sounded like anything else.

A door opened and a man stepped out. He wore an expensive suit, yellow-tinted sunglasses, and a thousand-watt grin made for magazine covers. "Good morning, you must be the new applicant Jarvis was telling me about."

Pepper shook his hand, trying to act as though he was a supervisor at the makeup company and not Tony Stark. The actual literal Tony Stark. Ridiculously rich genius inventor all of her friends had at the top of their celebrity crush lists. The last time she saw his face, he was on Ellen. Now he was talking to her.

"Hi, I'm Pepper," she said, forgoing all formalities. "It's… nice to meet you, Mr. Stark."

He grinned wider. "My reputation precedes me. Awesome. Let's talk." The doorbell rang. Jarvis approached but Tony stopped him with a hand. " That will be my daughter and her escort. Give me one second Ms. Pepper."

"Ms. Potts," she said, but he didn't appear to have heard. He opened the door and a pale young girl with a bright red pixie cut and a dark purple hoodie stood sullenly at the entrance. With her was a police officer.

"She was tagging dumpsters," the officer said, arms crossed.

Tony pursed his lips. "Thought she'd graduated to bridges. Guess I was wrong."

"That's the third time this month, Mr. Stark. Any more and I will have no choice but to arrest her."

"Hey now, let's not use the 'A' word in front of impressionable children, huh?" Tony stepped aside as the girl stomped past him. "This is a phase and she'll grow out of it. Now I'm sure you have lots of grocery store robberies to stop and kittens to rescue from trees, so I'll just let you go."

"I'm serious, Mr. Stark. Keep her in line."

"I assure you, no child of mine would ever cut in line. See you later, Stan." He shut the door and locked it. Pepper thought she heard a beep like a computer booting up. "Okay, that was exciting. Let me introduce you to your potential charges-to-be. Over there is Harley-"

The boy on the couch raised a hand but didn't wave.

"-this right here is Peter-"

"Nice to meet you," he said, his smile lighting up his face in such a way, Pepper had to resist hugging him.

"-and this bundle of sunshine is Nebula. Hey Neb, say hi to Ms. Pepper."

The girl was already halfway up the stairs with no signs of stopping. She mumbled a quick, "hello Ms. Pepper," and then she was gone.

"Don't mind her. It's a teenage thing. She'll write a few goth poems and be right as rain by tomorrow." Despite his dismissive tone, his eyes lingered on the top of the steps, as if he thought maybe she'd come back down. When she didn't, he rolled his shoulders and sighed. "Okay, let's go talk in my office."

Pepper followed him down the hall past a number of doors until they reached one hanging open. Inside was a room full of metal parts with bookshelves lining every wall. A couch and coffee table added a homey feel and by the windows was Tony's desk. A man and a woman stood by it. The man was tall and lean with sharp, handsome features. The woman petite and skinny, with a face that would make most men look twice.

"Hey guys, you mind if we take a break?" Tony sat in his plushy desk chair, spinning it once for good measure and propping his feet up. "Need to do a job interview. Ms. Pepper, allow me to introduce Loki Odinson, my business partner, and Dr. Jane Foster, our favorite benefactee."

The man, Loki, nodded politely but had nothing to say. Dr. Foster, by contrast, smiled and took Pepper's hand. She was overall quite personable and Pepper didn't miss the way Loki kept looking at her.

"I can bring you more information about the project tomorrow, Tony," Dr. Foster said. "I think this might be the big one."

Loki chuckled. "Yes, with a little hard work and elbow grease you'll finally defeat those baking soda volcanoes at the science fair."

Dr. Foster blew air out her nose. "Gee, thanks. Anyway, I need to head out. Have to be at the university in an hour to discuss my lecture and you know what Manhattan traffic is like this time of day."

"Be careful you don't get stepped on," said Loki.

"Don't mind them," Tony fake whispered as they glared at each other all the way out the door. "They act like they hate each other, but it's really just unresolved sexual tension. Pretty soon they'll snap and fuck on my desk or something."

"I can hear you," Dr. Foster shouted.

"That's good. Use a condom," Tony shouted back. He took his feet down and laced his fingers together, slipping into business mode like it was a second skin. "Okie Doke. I assume you have a resume somewhere in that makeup kit."

As it happened, she did. One never knew when they'd pass an office building with a help wanted sign in the window. Pepper had learned long ago to always be prepared for anything, and she hadn't made an exception here. Opening the case she whipped out a folder full of crisp white linen pages listing all the qualities that would make her an exceptional businesswoman. She handed it to Mr. Stark, hoping it could get her a job in childcare.

"Hmmm…" he rubbed his chin as his eyes raked across the page. "Mmm. You're in grad school. Working on your thesis, I see."

"It's a process. I'm almost done, but you know… one day at a time."

"Business management." Mr. Stark dropped the page. "I guess you could say raising a family is like running a business in a way. Communication and cooperation are key. We've all got to work together and respect each other."

"Of course," she said.

"We can't be afraid to let our colleagues know when they've made a mistake or are getting ready to set off a homemade explosive in the house."

"Yes sir," Pepper nodded. "I mean… what?"

She caught a whiff of the air. Ashy like something burning. A trail of gray smoke floated down the hall. There was a popping sound and one of the boys cursed. Pepper crossed the hall to find Peter on his knees tinkering with a miniature rocket booster. Said rocket was currently cradled in Harley's arms.

"Why don't these figures ever add up," Peter groaned, typing furiously.

"Did you carry the one?"

"_Yes_, for the hundredth time. I always carry the one."

Pepper looked to Mr. Stark, mouth wide. He maintained total serenity and motioned for her to step up. At first, she wanted to scream. He was the parent, not her. It was his job to stop them.

Except it would also be the nanny's job, and she was the nanny.

_'I knew I should've taken the west end,'_ she thought, shuffling forward on uncertain feet. Neither boy acknowledged her until the toe of her shoe bumped their device. "Hey guys, you can't set that off in the house."

"Have you checked telemetry?" Harley asked Peter as if no one else had spoken.

"Everything's running normally. If I could just get this thruster to work."

"Excuse me," Pepper, kneeling to Peter's level. "Do you really think it's a good idea to launch a rocket indoors?"

"It's not dangerous," said Harley, rolling his eyes.

"It's just supposed to fly into the kitchen out the window and land in the yard," Peter explained. "We've calculated the distance based on the positioning of the booster and triple checked our math. There's no possible way this could go wrong."

"Well as long as the fuel doesn't leak out, but that probably won't happen," Harley interjected. "I'd say we have about a ninety-seven to ninety-eight chance of success."

Peter grinned innocently, trying his best to look cute and unthreatening. To his credit, he was good at activating those motherly instincts, but he was about seven years too old for it to stick.

"Okay, how about we try this another time?" Pepper pushed the booster into the wall, well of course for its intended trajectory. "Maybe out in the park would be better."

"It was made for this house," said Harley.

"The whole point is to get it out that window," Peter argued.

"And what if you miss and break something?"

"Dad won't mind. Right, Dad?"

Harley shot his father a pleading look, and to Pepper's consternation, Mr. Stark did not immediately shoot him down and send him to his room. He had a hand on his chin and seemed to actually be considering it.

"I don't know. Maybe it'll work." He eyeballed Pepper. "You sure they can't do it?"

There was that grin again. Either he really was screwing with her or her expression was just that hilarious.

"Are you kidding me?" she snapped, forgetting for a moment that she was talking to a guy rich and powerful enough to destroy her life with a snap of his fingers. That was the other thing about hitting rock bottom: you just plain stopped giving a shit. "They could destroy this whole house! Burn everything to the ground. They are not shooting that damn rocket in here." She rounded on Harley, who took a step back in surprise. "Give me the rocket."

He held it tight to his chest. "It's mine. I spent weeks working on it."

"Then you should've gone outside. Give it to me now."

"No!"

"Harley. _Now!"_

The moment seemed to drag on for hours. Harley stared defiantly at Pepper and she stared back. If he thought his scrawny teenage self would cow her, he should've spent a night babysitting her sister's kids. After that, there wasn't a child in the world who could bring Virginia Potts to her knees.

After a while, he seemed to realize that. Even with Peter offering silent but steady encouragement, his stance had weakened and his grip on the rocket's base had grown slack. Slowly he unfurled his arms. The rocket was heavier than Pepper expected and appeared to be full of liquid. Whatever it was, she didn't want to know.

"Let's go, Peter," Harley grumbled.

The two boys scurried upstairs without another word. Doors slammed and that was the end of it. Pepper let out a sigh which was cut short as she remembered the children's father standing right behind her.

_'You just told off a pair of kids you just met like you're their mother,'_ her inner voice said. '_Are you ready for a tidal wave of pissed off entitled rich parent crap? Because you're about to get it.'_

Except when Pepper turned to face the music, Mr. Stark was not scowling. In fact, he wasn't angry at all.

He was smiling.

And then he clapped.

No, he was full-on _applauding_ her.

"Perfect," he said, that world-famous grin returning with a vengeance. "Absolutely stellar! You are exactly what I need, Pep!"

Pepper held her breath, but it never came. "Y-you're not mad?"

"Mad?" Tony laughed. "How could I be mad? What do you think I need around here, a yes man who will roll over and let my kids do whatever they want? Or someone to be, y'know, responsible and mature? And tell them 'no' when they have to?"

"I…" Pepper swallowed. "Family is built on cooperation, right?"

"Exactly!" Tony put an arm around her and led her back to his office. "Now, if I haven't made it clear, you're hired. Let's go discuss moving you in and the six-figure yearly salary I'm going to pay you."

"Well, I still have a few months left on my lease," Pepper said. "I guess I could break it, but I'd really rather… I'm sorry, _six-figure salary?"_

"Uh-huh," Tony spun and struck a pose against the wall. "I compensate my nannies very well for dealing with my children's antics. Let me make it clear, they're not troubled. They're all good kids at heart, but they're smart. Like, really smart. The trick is to always stay one step ahead of them. Are you up for it, Ms. Pepper? Or would you rather go back to selling makeup door to door?"

Her pink, heart-shaped makeup case stared at her from the desk inside, as if issuing a challenge. Pepper refused to look at it. Inanimate object or no, she'd never give it the satisfaction. "Yes sir, I am."

Tony pumped a fist. "Great. Let's talk contracts. Also, feel free to fall madly in love with me and have a whirlwind romance that ends with you properly joining the family."

Pepper gawked at him, a laugh bursting forth. "That is not going to happen, Mr. Stark."

He shrugged. "It might."

"It won't."

"But it might."

"But it won't."

He smirked at her but didn't respond. The next hour was all business with a few well-intentioned barbs thrown in. As Pepper signed and initialed a dozen pages, she wondered just which kind of insanity she was getting herself into.

Either way, things were finally looking up.


End file.
